(a revised and updated post from my private blog: Life as a Texas Kid-Wrangler)
An online dictionary defines mania as the following: (answers.com)
mania n. An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze: a mania for neatness.
Well, that pretty much describes me! I have this perfect world created in my head. You know, the one where your house is neat and tidy all the time, and there is not one ounce of clutter! For most of us, this is an unrealistic goal. I found myself cleaning the tub, the other day, while taking a shower!
That is how my multi-tasking life is, on a daily basis. If I bend down to pick something up off the floor...I look for other things to pick up while I'm down there. I have decided that multi-tasking is a talent that must be honed. I am constantly looking for an easier, quicker way of doing things.
(I have found this great website to help deal with my long list of stuff to do! Check it out! There's lots of great suggestions to help you manage the housework and clutter. Flylady.net)
People tell me all the time, "Don't worry about your house...the mess will always be there...your kids will grow up and be gone...spend time with them...now". Honestly, I understand they mean well, but what planet are they from? If I did what they recommended...we would be naked and barricaded in by a wall of laundry and dust bunnies the size of Manhattan! I have found that finding a balance between managing my home, preparing healthy menus, educating the kids, playing with the kids, romancing my husband AND finding special time for me to DE-STRESS, is "almost" impossible to do. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that it is okay to have PB& H (honey) for dinner from time to time, close the door to the laundry room, and let the kids read their favorite book after lunch instead of checking off each subject on the lesson plan for the day. Breathe...relax...enjoy life one day at a time.
We must remember, as my dear friend Miranda wrote in her recent blog post...“Well, I’m not perfect. We are not perfect, and we will not be until the day we step into our glorified body in Heaven." Amen to that, sista!
So, note-to-self...you are not super mom! Clean a little each day, do a couple loads of laundry each day and stick to the menu you have planned out. Make teaching your priority during the day and spend some time in the evening letting Brady know how special he is and that I admire/respect him...but most importantly...start my day with my Heavenly Father...He will direct my path!
Here are two scriptures that remind me of who is in charge and how He will be there for me if I will just let Him! Hope they bless you too!
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."
Jeremiah 31:25
As for the special time for me...I'm working on it. Writing on this blog seems to help me a little. I think I will add a long soak in the jacuzzi tub on about Wednesday night of each week.
Okay, what do you do for special time for you? Let's encourage each other to relax!
It's a constant struggle for me, too, finding that balance.. I have found that we really need routine.. Not so much a detailed schedule, but routine habits like say, loading the washing machine every morning after breakfast, or loading the dishwasher immediately after supper. Involve the kids as much as possible, too, because that's something I fall down on too often. This evening while I was cooking supper I had C unload the dishwasher, A switch out the washer and dryer and start a new load and B picking up toys and shoes and whatever I could see from the stove that was out of place and needed to be put away. ;)
ReplyDeleteThere is an element of truth to the good advice about enjoying our kids and not spending all our time on chores. I find myself saying "no" too often because I don't want to stop what I'm doing. But my List never has an end! There's always something else that needs to be done next. Dishes and laundry are like rabbits! I'm learning that when the kids come to me seeking time, if I can, I need to stop and take that time with them. Or at the very least say, "let's all finish this task and then we'll do something together." And then there's the importance of regular family time. We're trying to spend time in the evenings playing games or Wii. And I'm re-instating bedtime stories because I think it's important, but with a new tactic that will hopefully be less painful for me. That is, everyone laying tucked in their beds with me sitting in the hall between their two doors and reading to them.
What about me? My most important de-stress time is after bedtime. I *need* to protect bed times and bed time routines and be diligent about it to protect the after-bed, quiet, me time. I can read, watch a movie, blog, take a hot shower. Whatever I need. The nights where routine goes sideways and they are awake until it's time for me to go to bed, I feel incredibly wound up and stressed out. Another thing I've been doing is journaling a list of 3 (or more) gifts of the day before I go to bed at night. Anything from a child memorizing a verse, to a God-moment, to the beauty of a rainbow after a storm. If I look back on the day and dwell on the gifts I've been given, even on the hard days it's hard not to end the day thankful for what I have instead of bitter over a bad day. Then I can turn to God in Thanksgiving and de-stress, even on the most stressful of days. (That one comes from Ann Voskamp at www.aholyexperience.com. She's an amazing God-blessed writer.)
I don't know how I could ever give you advice. I think you need to give me advice. I only have one child and have been a workoholic. I have never been able to tackle the task of time management because a rushed transcript throws a rod in my wheels. I have learned in my later years that I can say no to a job. I really wish that I would have had the patience to homeschool my child, but wasn't blessed with that and am not going to ask for it either:-) I pray that if my husband and I are blessed by a new life, I will be much wiser and be a better mom at the middle school age.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is good at making me take a little time for myself sometimes. I should probably take more time for me, but I consider my vigorous walks my destress time. I feel so good after my walks. I love to be able to take time to read, but unfortunately don't have that much to devote to it.
As for cleaning the house, "Pardon the mess, but we live here." I give up and try to remember it won't matter. Daily vacuuming, laundry, meals, a little dusting, cleaning bathrooms (which I do clean the shower and tub when I'm in them too) do get done in due time, and radical cleaning when a guest is visiting. I'm just trying to enjoy life and the priorities will be taken care of as they come. All I can do is ask the Lord for daily help.
LOVE the chocolate bubble bath cartoon, lol! Fun thought!! ;) :)
ReplyDelete*Seriously, I Love your post (and the first comment, too)... it's so important to for us sah and/or homeschooling moms to realize that we are not Alone in our daily struggles against the clutter and tedium...!!~ This is encouraging!~~~
I've just begun reading In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms by Dr. Laura Schlessinger-- and am finding a lot of encouragement there, too.~~ Praise the Lord for both of these things~~~!! Because recently I have been feeling as if I should find some way to go back to work in addition to the things I do here at home-- and, more, that I am somehow of less value than so many of my friends who fit some part-time work, at least, into their incredibly Busy schedules...
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement!!~
Tiffany
Psalm 68:19
*Whenever I posted there was no second comment-- but I agree w/it, as well... In fact, Psalm 68:19 is my favorite verse-- it's a rock that I cling to-- Without the Lords "daily help" I wouldn't make it through each day with a smile on my face.~~ So incredibly Thankful for His prescence!!!~~ tlc
ReplyDeleteTiffany, never feel less for not being a "working mom." I would have given anything if I could be a stay-at-home mom, but I made some mistakes in my early years and was not fortunate enough. I would say get a part-time job only because you want to do something to get out of the house and do something, not because you want to feel more of a "super mom." Feel blessed and enjoy being home.
ReplyDeleteMy husband works at least 4 days a week & on those days he doesn't get home til 3:30am. So, bedtime is strictly observed & I then use a few hours to catch up on dishes & laundry & read or watch TV or meal plan or plan the next birthday party!! During the day, the girls have weekly chores they are responsible for: laundry & bathroom or dishes & kitchen. And while I help them, it is their responsibility. I'm careful to set reasonable expectations and hold them accountable for correctly completing tasks! I have set a goal of taking one area a week & completely declutter & reorganize!! I'm currently reading a book that has been a great guide & encouragement to me: Large Family Logistics, The Art and Science of Managing the Large Family by Kim Brenneman. I have to say there are days that seem to be unproductive all the way around! I figure, if I'm given another day on this earth, I'll do better then.
ReplyDeleteAmber, Shannon, Tiffany & Jennifer F. ~
ReplyDeleteI took mental notes from each of your comments! This is the very reason I love blogging. Hearing how other women navigate their day gives me fresh ideas to incorporate in to our routine.
Our kids do have chores and a set bedtime. Bedtime stories are a must...they grow up way to fast...each of these suggestions definitely helps to keep life a little more sane!
I like the suggestion of journaling a list of 3 gifts of the day! So cool, Amber!
Walking vigorously, reading and depending on the Lord...all excellent reminders of how to take care of ourselves.
Oh how important it is to stop, whatever we are doing, when our precious children ask us to play with them. I really try to do this...my heart would break if they stopped asking!
I've recently added reading, for me, back in the evenings. I only take about 30 minutes, because I don't want to take too much time away from the hubby...that's a whole other post! lolol...
I am currently reading Lisa Whelchel's latest book, "Friendship for Grown-Ups"...a great read so far! More on that later, as well.
Since I could keep writing all evening, I will end with Tiffany's favorite verse:
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" ~ Psalm 68:19
What an awesome God we serve!
Hugs to you all ~ Jenn
Amber ~ you are so clever and creative...I always enjoy hearing what you have to say...I look forward to checking into Ann Voskamp! ;)
ReplyDeleteShannon ~ you are an awesome mom! I admire how you have your career and take such great care of your handsome son! The middle school age is a difficult one because of the outside influences...on top of the fact that the changes they are going through makes them nutty from time to time...I so remember having my nutty moments. lolol...so now that my oldest is a tween...keep the wisdom coming my direction, okay?! ;)
Tiffany ~ I so agree with Shannon. Take a job for you and not to prove to anyone that you have value. You have the best job on the planet, right now, and you only have a small window of influence. You are valuable to your children...the people that it matters most to. If taking a job helps you to feel less stress and gives you some freedoms...go for it...but not to increase your value...you are an amazing mother that is teaching your precious children to love and serve the Lord...no better job available! Love your favorite verse...I'm copying it off to put on the fridge! Hugs!
Jennifer ~ I will check out Laura's book too...now that I'm reading again...lolol... Thanks for sharing your heart with me...I think of you often and can't believe how fast our children are growing up! Hope to see you soon! Much love ~
well I try to do stuff outside, love on my animals so I am not distracted by all the "to dos" in the house. When I am outside or riding horses I feel closer to God and at peace. Sitting on a horse.........awe! The sky is beautiful, the breeze wisks across your cheek, the dogs sit by and watch protectively. Have you ever just hugged a horse? The horses, dogs, cats and goats give me unconditional love and help me focus on how good God is, all things he created. I love listening to the birds chip or the horses neigh, or getting licked to death by a dog who just wants to be petted. So this is my "me time or therapy" as I call it. Try to do it once a week on my day off.
ReplyDeleteSweet Brigitte...we are two peas in a pod!! I LOVE horses and miss not having any...we are getting ready to buy Brenna two miniature horses...so I will get to hug a horse again, very soon...even if it is a smaller one than I'm used to. I love horse hugs and the way they smell. My very favorite horse used to actually hug me back...you are so right about enjoying the animals that God created.
ReplyDeleteEven something as simple as watching the deer in the front of our house during the early morning hours,as the sun rises, or the birds eating seed in our window feeder. No one else is up yet and my coffee is brewing...some me time...nice...
I know what you mean about unconditional love...Jack Sparrow-Catcher...our BIG black cat...loves me so much...ahhhh Thanks for reminding me to take a moment to enjoy this beautiful world and the animals in it.
Brrrrrr....this morning...stay warm...hope to see you soon. Let's go for coffee and "girltalk" real soon. Hugs ~ Jenn