Sibling Rivalry ~ There is a Solution! (Part 2)

The solution lies in teaching them to be respectful of each other. We tell our children that this means no hitting, yelling or name-calling. Ask before you borrow something that belongs to your siblings; and sometimes let them go first. Always be there for them when they are hurting and never choose your friends over your brothers and sisters. You are probably thinking this sounds impossible…not really. Teach them this way and it becomes second nature.   It is not a one-time lesson either.  You will have to be consistent and stay on top of it.  That is what good parenting involves.  Parenting is certainly not for the lazy or selfish...at least that is what I have had to learn.  It is best not to ignore the arguing.  If they do not resolve it on their own, step in to show them how.  Then let them have some time, with-in earshot, to talk it out.

For the most part, our 5 children get along wonderfully. They play well together and have great relationships with each other. We home school our children so they spend extreme amount of time together. So yes, as you can imagine, there is the occasional argument and tattling. My husband and I have made it a point to teach our children to respect each other’s feelings and belongings. If we solved every problem that arises for them, then they learn nothing about solving for themselves. So this is where we apply the, “talk it out” technique that I pointed you to in the last post.  We used it this morning and it works wonders!

I must say, I do love the "talk it out" technique that Ms. Davies wrote about in her article, "Tattling vs. Reporting":

Have the two disputing children face each other.

Listen to each other tell what happened.

Wait for their turn to speak.

Be polite.

Discuss ways to work out the problem.

Agree on what to do.

Shake hands.

Our family also added; apologize for your part in it and accept the apology when given. They say that they love each other and end it with a hug. As parents, we want them to understand that hurtful actions/words cut deep. Arguments happen, but it is how they argue and end them that count! Just as the Lord tells us in His word, the Bible…do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. ~ Ephesians 4:26.   If you do, resentment and deeper hurt can grow.

Here is the link to Ms. Leah Davies' Parent Tips and website:  Kelly Bears   I am not sure of her religious views, but I can tell you that her advice is wonderful and goes right along with how Christians should raise their children. Scroll down to the bottom of her webpage and check out the Youtube video of her. It will give you an idea of what her philosophy is towards parenting.

 May God bless every effort you exert towards raising children who actually like each other!